A Systemic Perspective and Family Constellations, By Katia Thebault
Our lives are full of patterns that often repeat themselves without us being aware of it. Even when we become conscious of them, we may feel powerless and helpless. From our personal relationships to our professional choices, we often face the same situations over and over again. This repetition is not accidental, and the systemic perspective, along with Family Constellations, offers deep insights into the origin of these patterns and how we can address and prevent them from being passed down through generations.
Based on my experience with over 20 years of observation, support, and work with individuals, couples, and families through a systemic approach, I am continually amazed by how unresolved issues within a family system find a way to surface until they are addressed and healed.
Even when we try to structure our lives differently from previous generations, patterns tend to repeat. Life is creative, and even if we choose a different path than our ancestors, unresolved issues continue to manifest in various ways.
The myth of Oedipus becomes a reality. Like the protagonist of this Greek tragedy, no matter how much we try to shape our destiny in a favorable way or avoid resembling our predecessors, life has a creative way of manifesting unresolved issues from previous generations.
Are We Doomed to Repeat Patterns?
No, or at least, we do not have to suffer from them as our predecessors did. However, it is up to us to engage in serious personal work, ideally with the support of skilled professionals.
The Systemic Perspective
The systemic perspective views life and human relationships as interconnected, not isolated experiences. This approach emphasizes that all members of a family system (or any system) are interdependent. The actions, emotions, and experiences of one member can affect others, including future generations.
In this context, the repetition of patterns can signal an imbalance within the system. When a conflict, trauma, or injustice remains unresolved in one generation, it can be passed on, manifesting as repetitive patterns. These may include relationship issues, addictions, illnesses, financial difficulties, or even the repetition of life choices made by family members.
Family Constellations: Unraveling Patterns
Family Constellations, developed by Bert Hellinger, is a powerful tool for uncovering and releasing the unconscious patterns we inherit from our family system. Every family has a "field" or "family soul" that influences the behaviors and destinies of its members. When something in the family system is out of order, such as an excluded member or a hidden secret, the family field attempts to correct it, often through the repetition of patterns in later generations.
During a Family Constellations session, participants represent different family members, revealing hidden dynamics that may influence the life of the person seeking resolution. Through this representation, connections that perpetuate repetitive patterns can be identified and released, restoring balance to the system—and to our lives.
Common Repetitive Patterns:
Romantic Relationships: Many people find themselves in relationships that repeat the same conflicts or destructive dynamics. These may stem from unresolved family history, such as parental separation, unaddressed grief, financial ruin, or violent acts.
Professional Success and Failure: Success or failure in one's career can be influenced by family patterns. For example, someone may repeat a legacy of financial limitation or self-sabotage passed down through generations.
Relationship with Parents: Relationships with parents are fundamental to character development and the formation of life patterns. Difficulties in bonding with parents, such as abandonment or lack of recognition, can repeat in future generations.
How Do We Break Patterns?
Often, I’m asked, "How do I break a pattern?" or "How do I break a bond?"
A bond cannot be broken. It can be healed or released but not severed. My mother is my mother, my father is my father—this fact will not change.
Regarding patterns, I prefer to talk about transformation rather than breaking. A pattern is still an expression of life, and who can break life?
Transforming a pattern is not a simple process, but it is possible through awareness and personal work. The key is recognizing that many behaviors are inherited from the family system. Family Constellations help make the invisible visible and initiate the healing process.
In addition to Constellations, I recommend other practices such as therapy (particularly Gestalt therapy), bodywork, and meditation to release these patterns and restore balance.
The repetition of patterns is complex, but through the systemic perspective and Family Constellations, we can restore balance in our lives. With a sincere willingness to take responsibility, commitment to ourselves, and appropriate support, it is possible to identify and release patterns, paving the way for a more fulfilling life.
Finally, healing our family connections not only liberates us but also allows future generations to live more freely and consciously.
Katia Thebault
Family constellation, NLP, Gestalt Therapist
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